Monday, 9 March 2015

Major new health report: 'Ban smoking in

I hate working at this place. Why do I work here? I need out. I need a work out. I’m so funny. I always laugh at my own jokes. Ha ha ha, snort, snort. 

All day I inhale air tainted with the smell of sweat. And no, it’s not me doing the sweating. Oh, here comes Mr. “I’m so much better than you that I won’t respond when you greet me.” I scrunch my nose to push up my glasses, the way I always do when my hands are busy. He’s headed right toward me. It seems like he needs to ask me something. This will be a first. How will he do this and still keep his perfect record of never saying a word to me? Of course, it must be so hard to say “good evening” to someone who has just said it to you. 

I can feel my nervous twitch starting up again. My top lip is moving diagonally; my invisible enemy has strung a thread through my lip with his needle. I try to yank it in the other direction, back into place, but it won’t budge.

The name of the girl in the pink headband? Uhhh. The girl in the pink headband! If she’s wearing her pink one today, it must be either Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday. Gross. But apparently he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. How sweet. For once he is nice and it is hard to hate him. He writes “Molly” on the envelope and hands it to me. Sure I’ll give it to Molly, all right. 

He heads for the locker room; he is out of sight, but he sure isn’t out of my mind. Neither is the favor he asked of me. He wants me to give the envelope to Molly. Sure I will. I’ll be as good at giving this to Molly as he is at responding when I say hello. Actually, better because now my paper shredder’s name is Molly. Molly loves envelopes. She’ll fall bin over wheels!

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In radical proposals which received the backing of England’s chief medical officer, former Health Minister Lord Darzi said that Trafalgar Square, Parliament Square and London’s Royal Parks should all restrict smoking.
Leading cancer surgeon Lord Darzi was appointed by Mr Johnson to chair the London Health Commission, which will present its findings to City Hall today. He said that the Mayor should use bylaws to ban smoking at international landmarks like Trafalgar Square and Parliament Square.
“It would be a powerful message for the iconic centre of our city and the political heart of our country to become smoke free,” he said. “What better way to show our city’s ambition to be the healthiest major global city.”

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